Monday, January 25, 2016

tender mercies

This past weekend, Haig and I had a lot to think about. We had the sister missionaries over for dinner on Saturday night and they shared this scripture with us:

But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.
1 Nephi 1:20

The sisters asked us some of the tender mercies we feel in our lives and Haig came up with the best answer ever. He talked about over the past year of us being married, everything has always worked out. We have been worried about little things here and there, but the Lord has always provided for us. That is our tender mercy. He is always there for us.

The next morning, we were late getting into church. I wasn't very nice to my husband, telling him that we needed to get up earlier and be at church on time. I also wasn't very reverent as sacrament meeting started, chatting with my sister and asking silly questions about the program. The remainder of the afternoon was tough too. I was upset with Haig for saying a couple of hurtful things, not towards me. He slept for a little bit while I put some things together for work this week. We went to my parents house for dinner and we chatted around the table with them but as soon as we got back in the car we were silent again. I couldn't think of what to ask him, why we weren't speaking to each other. I wondered what he was thinking about.

When we got home I rested in bed and continued to read "My Story" by Elizabeth Smart. I have decided that I love reading memoirs. As a writer and blogger, I love nothing more than to read someone else's story from their perspective. Elizabeth has so much courage and I really am having a hard time putting the book down. She had so much faith and hope throughout her experience. 

Haig came in and laid down beside me and we started to talk a little bit. He wouldn't say too much though so I kept reading for awhile longer. Finally, I moved to read on the couch, assuming he was done talking for the night. In a few minutes he came to talk to me, and then we moved back to our room to talk on the bed. It was a hard day, but in hindsight I am so glad I have a husband who takes the time to collect his thoughts. I know if we had have talked earlier, he might have not known what to say.

We both have a lot of things we need to work on, We are both feeling that we can be more productive at home, at school, and at work. We both know that there are things we would like to learn more about, projects we would like to accomplish and goals we would like to achieve. We talked about all of these things for a long time. Haig held me as I cried, because I continue to struggle with my feelings of inadequacy. We are really hoping that we can make 2016 a great year and that we will make lots of things happen. 

I don't know what I would do without Haig by my side. Yesterday really did tug at my heartstrings. It is hard to not talk to the one you love. Sometimes it is really hard to be married. We know however that we needed to be married, almost one year ago, because we need to work on all of these things together. I love him so much and I am so happy that he does so much for me to make me happy. 

Over the next little while, I will post some of our goals and how we are going to make 
some of these big things happen.

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