Saturday, May 7, 2016

mother's day series: samantha

Dear Babycakes,

I've carried you for about 35 weeks now. The days have gone by slow and the months have gone by fast. A lot of women say the last month seems to take the longest and I would have to agree. Each day now feels like waiting for a whole week to go by. Especially when I'm at work. My body has gone though a lot of change over the past 8 months. With all the extra weight and stretch marks I've accumulated, I often forget what my body felt/looked like before you were on your way. Growing a baby is hard work. There have been so many days of feeling sick, tired, emotional, strange cravings, and just overall exhausted. But there have been so many wonderful days as well; finding out you were in there, feeling your first movements, seeing you through the ultrasound, finding out you are a boy, knowing that both you and I are healthy.

So many people are happy for your daddy and I to have you coming into our lives. They often try to give advise on what it's like to have and raise a baby. Some of it is good advise and some seems a little crazy. Luckily for your daddy I have some experience with helping raise children. Being the oldest of nine kids has taught me a lot. I’ve had to learn responsibilities such as cleaning, cooking, watching and taking care of children, at such a young age. These skills will be a huge help to being a mother, however most of my siblings are girls, so raising you, my own baby and a boy will be new to me. But it is an adventure I'm sure both daddy and I will enjoy. I know we will have lots of help from our families, as they are all so excited and eagerly awaiting your arrival. You will have no shortage of love I can tell you that. From day one of finding out you were inside me I have been filled with such great joy and love for you. Now I understand when my mom would say, "there's no bond like that of a mother and child." I have felt you grow inside me and I know you have felt my emotions, joys and heartaches, shared my food and energy, and I can already feel the love that connects us.

I know I won't be a perfect mommy, but I will try my best to raise you to be the man God wants you to be. And I know I won't have to do it alone. Your daddy is a great man, who loves me with his whole heart and I know he loves you so much already. He keeps telling me of all the things he will teach you to do such as fishing, building things, and standing up for what's right. Life will be new to you, and this will be new to us as well. But by putting God first in our lives and knowing you are a precious child of our Heavenly Father, it will help us in strengthening our marriage and our family. Seeing you grow and knowing that your daddy and I helped create your little body is such an amazing godlike gift we have received. I'm so grateful that your daddy and I were sealed for all time and eternity in the holy temple, so that our family can be together forever. This is such a wonderful blessing that I am so grateful for.

As Mother's Day is approaching, I have been reflecting on the great mother and motherly figures I have in my life and how I feel entering into this new phase of motherhood. My own mother has taught me a lot and played a big role in helping me to be the person I am today. She has loved me unconditionally, and taught me to be responsible, loving and honest. You will be her first grandchild and she will love you to pieces. My mother-in-law, who is no longer here with us physically but is in spirit, has shown me abundance of kindness and love. She was so excited when we told her we were expecting you and I'm sure she is spending much time with you now and helping to prepare you for this earth life. There are so many other women in my life that have been great examples to me of what motherhood is all about. I'm excited to start this new adventure, for that is what it will be I'm sure, and I know I won't have to do it alone. There will be lots of help along the way as there will be times I will need to call out to those other mothers for support and guidance.

So over the past 35 weeks I've carried you and loved you, I've come to better understand that motherhood is not always easy peasy.  There are going to be difficult times, times I may breakdown from exhaustion. Times where I may struggle to feel confident as a new mom. You will need to be patient with me as I learn what it is to be your mother. This pregnancy was not all fun and games but I would do it all again because you are worth it. There is one thing I do know and that is good motherhood = selfless, unconditional love. This love has already started since the first day I knew you were in there and it will continue on for eternity, as that is how long I will have you to love. I am grateful to be your mother and can't wait to hold you in my arms and see your smiling face.

With all my love,

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