Sunday, September 27, 2015

what actually happened in September

I was at work on September 3rd and I quickly checked my phone when we were bringing the kids in from outside. My dad rarely texts me unless he is extremely bored or actually has something serious to tell me. He said: "pray for uncle Paul, he has a major heart attack this morning".  I said "oh my gosh" out loud and one little girl asked me if everything was okay. I put my phone away, and like the rest of my family I had to go on with the rest of my day in hopes that things were going to be okay.

When I got home later that evening, Haig and I did make some time to sit down and talk about what was going on and we prayed for my aunt, her sons, Paul's sons. Haig prayed for the doctors that were working so hard to help Paul. I had to go to a Relief Society presidency meeting. I got the text from Kayla during the meeting telling me that he didn't make it. My mom called just a minute later to tell me. I left the meeting and I just talked to her about what was going to happen the next couple of days. Selfishly, I knew I wouldn't be able to be there to support my aunt and her family if the events were later in the week, the first week of school. Mom assured me that we would figure something out.

I was suppose to meet up with Casey and Jocelyn after the meeting but I called to tell them I wouldn't be there. I hadn't told them what was going on before and when I did they were both very empathetic about the situation. Jocelyn even brought us some cheesecake the next day, even after finding out her grandmother had passed away. I was struck by her compassion to help me in a time of need, when she needed to be helped too.

We went golfing at Peakes on Saturday. On the drive there it started to hit me. I started to cry as we listened to a slow song about life, and what a great thing it is. My life really is beautiful and I think about that often. I thought about my Aunt Karen and how she must be feeling. I thought about my good friend and Paul's son Matthew and I thought about his big smile and his warm heart. I decided that I would think about Paul as I watched Haig golf. Paul loved to golf and so I started to cry when I realized that we would be doing something he loved to do.

We went to the wake in Moncton on Sunday September 6th. We made it to Moncton in the afternoon and we spent time with our family at the funeral home and then there was a service for Paul. I was so sad for my Aunt, but I was not surprised that at this time of grief and sorrow, despite this challenge, I was still looking up to her. I always will. She is one of the brightest, most hard working, compassionate people that I know. She cares so much about her family and friends. I am so glad to have such a wonderful Aunt.

We were unable to make it to the wake in Charlottetown the following day, but we went out to Aunt Karen's house to see them later in the evening. It was nice to be there with everyone and get to know some of Paul's friends and family. I was happy to be there with my own family, my parents, my brother, my sister and my husband. Like I said before, I really do know that I have a beautiful life. Some really terrible things happen. I know Paul would still want me to think that my life is beautiful and that I can be happy. I will miss him very much, he was such a wonderful man.


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