leave of absence

So, I have something to confess. I guess I just kind of have something I want to talk about.

I quit my job.

Well, before I say anything else, I did *quit* my job, but I am not unemployed. I am still working as a youth educator with the after-school program. I am also starting a new position as a personal care attendant at a seniors home.

The thing is, I wasn't happy. I don't feel like I was really "good enough" for the situation I was working in. I was constantly feeling defeated that I was not doing enough. I felt like I couldn't live my life and continue working in other capacities. I felt held back. I will not hold myself back.

So I put in my two weeks notice for that position.

Things have been better since. The first week was hard. I felt really useless. I felt like my husband was mad at me for not working. I felt like soon we would be struggling for money and that I would not be able to adequately provide for our family. I felt like I would never know what to do with my life, what career I am suppose to have.

I have to rely on my faith during this time, to know that everything is going to be okay, things will work out and things will get better. There is a plan for me, if I look for it, if I have a desire to find it, if I can prioritize my goals, dreams and aspirations. I don't know everything right now, but eventually I will figure out more about who I am suppose to be and what I am suppose to do.